It is also a lonely place to be. I know this. First hand. You might see other people, during your day. But you feel very alone. Isolated. And it can wear on a person. Without you realizing it.
I used to see countless people, in any given day. Nurses, doctors, therapists, employees of my Dad's, occasionally family, neighbors, and even my Mom. But it didn't matter. Very few of them, really cared. Really wanted to know, how I was doing. Wanted to know, what was really behind my, "I'm OK."
And more times than not, it was the professionals. It was our HomeCare nurse. It was a therapist. It was a staff member, at some appointment, that we were at. Many times, as my Dad received radiation, I got a little "counseling," from a nurse. A shoulder to cry one. Someone to finally listen.
I know, this must sound crazy! Especially, not being able to talk to my Mom. But it was the truth. My Dad bore his soul to me. He told me his secrets. He didn't want other people to know. And it didn't matter, that the three of us lived together. He was trying to protect her.
So I carried all of this. I was worn down. Tired. Exhausted, actually. I drove my Dad to appointments, made sure none of our appointments overlapped, I stayed with him at chemo and radiation. I was the person that ran all over town, looking for medications, supplements, supplies, groceries, and equipment. I talked to the nurses. Gave my Dad his medications. Willed him to eat, when he refused. Cleaned him up, when his ostomy bag, would come apart. I stood up with him at night, when he couldn't sleep. And all he wanted to do was talk.
It was me. And it was tough. He was not always willing, to go to appointments. Or would get mad, when his ostomy bag, would make a mess. He HATED not being able to drive. I listened to complaints. I dealt with the bad appointments. I held him when he cried. And we talked about so much.
And maybe that's why my passion is here. In this foundation. Trying to reach out. Because it was a struggle. One that would leave me crying, uncontrollably, on the floor of the shower. My only 5 minutes of the day, to really let it all out. And I don't want others to feel this way. I want them to know, there are people out there, that are grateful. They appreciate every single thing, you are doing. They are standing behind you. I know I am!
The idea of "Caregiver Boxes," came to me in the Fall. I had a friend, who walked a very similar journey. And she also lost her dad, to cancer. I wanted to do something for her. Send her a "Hug in a Box." A little bit of sunshine.
I came across this picture. I don't remember if I did a search on Google, or Pinterest. But I thought, this looks like a nice idea. With $20 in my pocket, I headed to the Dollar Tree. I ultimately send a package, that my friend and her son, could share. There was candy, a few toys, silly string, nail polish, socks, stickers, and some snacks. Just some stuff, that would make their day, a little brighter.
It really sparked my interest. And I was able to send 4 boxes, last year. I would like to continue this. A way to reach, the caregivers out there. And it doesn't always have to be a box of stuff. I sent a $20 movie gift card, to a lady in Texas. Who was really struggling.
After the holidays, I got a note in the mail. Telling me, "Thank You. I really needed a little time out on my own. It was nice to go out, and have a good laugh. For just a second, I forgot about all my responsibilities. When I got back home, I realized, doing something for me...made me a better caregiver. Thank You!"
That really touched my heart. In ways I could never have imagined. And I realized, I needed to do this more. I wanted to do this more. I understood what she had said. And being on this side of things now, I wish someone had reached out to me. Given me, a chance to get out. And do something, to take my mind off of, all the heavy stuff I was going through.
I have found other ideas since. I try and send out Fun Mail as much as possible. But I want to start a "Caregiver of the Month," box. And that's where I need your help. A little gift card...$10-20 to a movie, dinner, or something like that. Maybe some small objects, that I can send in the mail. Or even a little financial help, to pay for postage. Because, we all know how expensive that is!
I found this graphic, and it made me smile. I'd really like to send a caring person, a little bit of sunshine. Like I said, I want to try and make this a monthly thing. But I do need help in two ways. One, I need to know about the caregivers out there. Please send me a message or e-mail (loveforblue2015@aol.com) telling me about your caregiver.
And obviously, I need some help financially, or through gift cards, to make this happen. If I can remember correctly, my other boxes I've sent...cost around $35. I spent $20, plus tax buying items. And around $13 to send them, through USPS. My goal, is to try and raise $50 a month. The gift card option, is much cheaper. In I think I spent $20 on a gift card. And under a dollar for a card, and stamp.
I hope that if you are reading this, you see how a little something, can make a HUGE difference! Not just for the caregiver receiving the package. But for the person they are caring for. In terms, that their caregiver has now been refreshed. And probably feels like, they can take on more, without feeling so stressed. ❤❤❤
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