A Friend Like Her

I'm one of the those people. That lost touch, with everyone I went to high school with. What you don't always understand, at the time, is that those people...they've gone through some big changes with you. You have history. And in some ways, they will always be in your life. You will always, carry a piece of them. After all, for a very vital part of your life, you were friends.

A couple of years ago, I reached out to a few of those people. Via Facebook. I was curious, about them. And their lives. Girls I had cheered with. Friends I'd studied with. People, that I spent so much time with. It wasn't like we were chatting every single day. Or even calling each other on the phone. We were Facebook friends. A far cry, from spending hours and hours together...like we had done 10 years before. We'd read each others' posts. But it wasn't like we were planning vacations together.

When my Dad past away, a friend reached out to me. Unlike most, she called. And we talked. It truly, meant the world to me. As my world was crumbling around me, she was there to talk to. To make me laugh, at the memories we shared. Amber and her parents, would send the most beautiful flowers. In a gorgeous vase. That my Mom and I, still use pretty often.

Amber has become one of those people, that have helped us, in our fundraising efforts. She works for a company, that prints things like T-shirts, bags, and other stuff like that. If you are involved in sports, you know what I mean. They are the people, that become your best friends.

Although I have a cousin, that does similar things, my friend has opened up her arms. And her heart, to us, and our foundation. You see, a year ago, I was trying to track my cousin down. To print us, some T-shirts. Maybe a banner or two. And my friend, offered to help me.

In a very short amount of time, I had a big box delivered to our home. Filled with T-shirts, for our fundraiser. Exactly how my Mom wanted them. And this year, when I dropped the ball in February, Amber rescued me. Yet again. Sending our order to be printed, just this past week.

Amber is so amazing to work with. And she really is an amazing friend. That I hope to have for life. Even if I don't answer calls, get on Facebook just a few times a month, or go MIA...my girl has my back! I'm pretty darn lucky.

My friend, is still the genuine girl, I went to school with. The one that made me laugh, when I needed to laugh. The person, that walked many of the same paths, as I. It saddens my heart, that we lost so many years, of friendship. But it always makes me smile, when I check her Facebook page. To see her three kiddos. All happy, just like their momma.

I can't wait, to see what our T-shirts look like this year. Or the other goodies, that we're cooking up. Things that we can sell all year long. Because, I'm pretty sure...I hear the Growers' Market calling my name! And maybe a couple of T-shirts, bracelets, and bags...might make their way to our tables.

When you do fundraisers like ours, it's a lot of grassroots, kind of work. And it isn't possible, without people like Amber. That have your back. Help you, to get the best possible products. So that you can turn around, and raise some funds. I'm lucky to have a cousin, that does this kind of work. I know I can call him, at any time.

But it's also nice, to have a friend that does it too. That loves my Dad, the way she does. We have a lot of history together. Amber and I. Years or cheerleading. And school. And just being friends. If you ever need anything printed up, I'd say call Amber! She is amazing to work with! ❤❤❤

Our Gentle Doctor

My Dad received all of his care, from one hospital. Different locations. Many doctors. More nurses, than I can sit and talk about. But one hospital. It was the best decision, we could have ever made.

Not only did it make it easier for us. It kept all of my Dad's doctors, on the same page. Everyone had access, to everything, all the time. If we were in the hospital, our doctors were very easy, to get in touch with. All our care, came from the same place. Including, our Homecare.

Along the way, you meet different people. In the Presbyterian organization, they work so well, as a team. Working together, for the patient. Mapping out, how your care will look. Taking every person's opinion, into consideration. And it works really well.

In the Fall of 2014, my Dad was scheduled to potentially have his stoma reversed. Chemo, was making him a little too weak, for the doctors liking. So there was a break, that was taken, halfway through his scheduled 16 treatments.

During this time, he'd receive radiation. And we heard all sorts of horror stories. But my Dad was optimistic. As always. He was ready, to attack this beast, growing inside him. We had an appointment, with the radiation team. And that is where we'd meet Dr. Garg.

An amazingly kind soul. His staff was truly, some of the kindest, that I've ever met! They made us feel so comfortable. And if you've ever had to have radiation, you know the initial appointment, can be rather lengthy.

We went in. The nurses were so kind, and helpful. Explaining everything in great detail. Allowing me, to help as much as possible. They knew, my Dad was most comfortable, when I was with him. After I'd help them, to get him settled in, another nurse, would walk me back to a conference room. Where I could wait. In comfort. With something to drink, and snack on.

I'd meet Dr. Garg first. While my Dad was being "marked" for his treatments. He'd explain to me, what was going to happen. What our schedule would look like. What I could expect. What I should look for, in terms of side effects. And assured me, he'd be right by our sides, the entire time.

Then he'd meet with my Dad and I. And explain everything, in great detail. Making sure, my Dad understood, everything he was saying. Talking to him, and reassuring him. He sat right in front of my Dad, held his hands, and assured him it was going to be OK.

Radiation, was very beneficial to my Dad. He didn't have any side effects. Nothing that they'd warned us about. Or anything we'd heard, from other patients. Dr. Garg, kept his word. And would be by our sides, the entire time. I don't think, there was ever a treatment, where he didn't come and talk to me. To let me know, how things were going.

My Dad was rather weak. By Fall 2014, he'd been through so much. And to go to his doctors' appointments, we'd take his wheelchair. I'd help him, to undress, and put on his hospital gown, before every treatment. The nurses would bring my Dad coffee. And once they'd taken him back, for his treatment, they'd come make sure I was OK.

It really made the entire experience, a positive one. But Dr. Garg, would be the one, that would bring us comfort. He'd talk us through, our entire treatment schedule. He'd answer all of our questions. He'd give me updates. Without me, having to track him down. He would bring me, the information, I'd need to know.

At my Dad's last appointment, he'd have a seizure. The staff was amazing! Dr. Garg, was right there, by our sides. Assuring me, that my Dad was OK. Which I knew. He'd had seizures, all my life. But Dr. Garg, wouldn't leave our side. He'd want to call an ambulance. So we could transport my Dad, from the Radiation Center, to the main hospital. I'd assure him, it would be best, if I'd take my Dad. He would be very disoriented, from the seizure. And would need me, by his side, when he started to "wake up" from the fog.

Dr. Garg, and 2 of his nurses, helped me get my Dad into our van. They'd secure him. And they'd get my cell phone number. Sure enough, they'd call ahead to the hospital for me. And they'd check in, with me, multiple times that afternoon. I'd receive a call from Dr. Garg, that evening, making sure we were OK. He knew, what he was reading from the charts. But he wanted to make sure we were OK. That we were receiving the care, that we should.

It was amazing! Months later, in February 2015, Dr. Garg would be the oncologist working at the hospital. On the weekend of my Dad's birthday. He would do everything he could, to make sure my Dad was comfortable. That we had everything we needed. And after talking to him, about a Surprise Birthday party, I had planned...he assured me, my Dad would be able to attend.

Dr. Garg, was just one of those doctors, that made you feel comfortable. He explained every single detail, to you. And always asked, if we had questions. When he could, he'd make things easier for us. Trying to provide our family, with everything we needed. At the very moment, we needed it.

And the amount of care, respect, and tenderness...that he showed my Dad. It is the thing, I will never forget. We were very blessed, with our medical team. And it's doctors, like Dr. Garg, that made the experience a little easier. We knew, we had a team behind us. And that no matter what, they were fighting for my Dad. To extend his life. To provide comfort. And to make sure, we were all OK.

I'm very grateful to Dr. Garg. And the care he provided. Not just the medical care. But the personal care, he gave my Dad. Even on my Dad's roughest days, he was an amazing doctor. Knowing, that it was the pain, and not my Dad...that was taking over. Thank You Dr. Garg! From the bottom of my heart. My family, appreciates everything you did for my Dad! ❤❤❤

She Encouraged Our Journey

When I think about physical therapy, and my Dad, I almost want to laugh. He wanted nothing to do, with physical therapy. But in the Spring of 2014, we were put on PT at home. And he'd continue it, until February 2015.

It would be one of those things, that would really bother my Dad. Physical Therapy. But honestly, it was so necessary for him. It was something he needed, much more than he thought, he did. The night before, our first at home session, my Dad would devise a plan. He thought, he could outsmart the physical therapist.

That is, until he met Lucy. She was this petite lady. That had the warmest spirit. The sweetest voice. And the most gentle way, of doing things. During that first session, my Dad would try hard. To prove to her, that he didn't need any help. But it quickly became apparent, to all of us, he need the help.

 

I'll ALWAYS regret, not getting a picture of the two of them.  After that first session, there would be a definite bond. A sense of friendship. And for my Dad, lots of trust. You see, Lucy became more than a physical therapist. She was my Dad's cheerleader. And encourager.

 

When my Dad didn't feel like doing his exercises, I'd remind him of Lucy's next visit. We usually had two a week. But we were supposed to do his exercises, every single day. My Dad would give me this look, every single time, he saw me coming with Lucy's notes. But quickly, he realized, those exercises were helping. He was getting a little stronger. With each visit. And we would begin, doing his exercises, two and three times a day.

 



 

 Lucy was never pushy. She was never rude. Or in a rush. She only had kind words. Encouragement. And my Dad's well being, on her mind. She encouraged me, to do the exercises with my Dad. She taught me things, that would benefit both my Dad and I. How to help him, to get around. How to strengthen his muscles. And keep his spirit up.

You see, Lucy always knew about our battle. She knew about the cancer. I know, she understood the situation. And my Dad's pride. She understood, that life was difficult for us. But she encouraged us. All of us. And helped us, to see the best in life.

It was not always easy. There were many set backs. In my Dad's recovery. In his strength. In the things he was dealing with. But Lucy was a cheerleader. She helped us all, to see the good, that was in our life.

And when we'd need help, getting safety equipment, it was Lucy who would help out. She'd make calls to people. She would write referrals. And she'd also give us options. For places, we might look, for supplies. Lucy became someone, I could trust.

My Dad would stay true to Lucy. You see, every time we would go to the hospital and return home, we'd get a different physical therapist. The first time it happened, he got in a fight with our new PT person. Then he'd tell me, to call and get Lucy. The second time it happened, he told them to leave his property. And again, we'd call Lucy. The third time it happened, he told the HomeCare people, he didn't need PT. Then they sent Lucy.

It wasn't that my Dad, didn't want help. It was the trust, that Lucy and he, had developed. It was a bit of history. And lots of understanding. He knew, she didn't judge him. And that she had his best interest, in mind. All of the time!

It was that encouragement, that kept my Dad going. I'll forever be grateful, to Lucy. The lady that walked us through bed exercises. Then sitting exercises. And eventually, standing exercises. She was the lady, that made sure my Dad was safe at home. And who would take walks with us, through our neighborhood.

And honestly, it was the patience she had. The understanding. And the trust, that we all developed. Lucy shared our religious beliefs. And would often times, pray for us. I can't tell you, how much that meant. But she also understood our values. And our sense of community. Lucy shared many things with us. And it meant, that our bond was incredibly strong.

I will forever be grateful, to Lucy. For her professionalism, her kindness, her care, her compassion,  and all of her encouragement. It really did help, my Dad. In so many ways. To extend, the "good days," that he had. It added to his overall health. And allowed us, more time together. In the end, my Dad looked forward to PT. And his visits from Lucy. He really enjoyed the challenges, that she would present him with. ❤❤❤

The Gentle Spirit

As tough as this journey has been, we've had some amazing people behind us. People that have just been our safety net. It's like they know exactly when, we need someone at our sides.

My Auntie Bug, has been that person. For both my Mom and I. There is just something, that is gentle, when you talk about her character. She is easy going. Has a way, of talking, that just calms a person. And honestly, there have been many days, when that is what we've needed.

It's crazy, to know that for so long, we had just lost touch with our family. We were just trying to survive. And most days, it was just a success to be home. Getting together with family and friends, seemed so overwhelming. Something we just couldn't figure out, how to do.

But through it all, our family still loved us. And since my Dad's passing, it's this sort of family, that has held us up. On our darkest of days, they are the ones, that get us through it all. The kind words. The prayers. The little outings.

My Auntie Bug, quickly became that person. For both my Mom and I. In different, but very important ways. She was the one person, I could talk to. Openly. About what was going on. She was the one person, my Mom seemed to open up to.

During the summer, when we wanted to do nothing more than lock ourselves up at home, my Auntie would somehow get us out. We'd go on little adventures. Day trips. Shopping trips. Out to eat. Always including, lots of laughter. And plenty of compassion.

It's what we needed. And my Auntie Bug, always seemed to show up, on the days we needed her most. It was like she knew, when our hearts were hurting most. She'd come. And bring that little bit of sunshine, that we needed.

Over the last 10 months, my Auntie Bug has gotten my Mom and I, to go on little trips. Camping and pinon picking. She's been a "sounding board," for my Mom. My Auntie and Uncle, have been the only people, that could get my Mom out and about.

But it didn't start, when my Dad past away. It started before then. When they'd come to visit in the hospital. Bring my Dad a little something. Their visits, would brighten his day. And mine. It was the text messages. And the prayers. The positive thoughts, that they brought with them.

Funny how that works. How the gentlest of spirits, has a way of working in your life. They move you in ways, that you never thought about before. They bring calm, in the middle of a storm. And provide an escape, from the life you are struggling in. They also bring that security, that you are craving most, in your life.

I'm very grateful to my Auntie Bug. And all that she has done for my Mom. And for me. And everything she did for my Dad. In ways that I can't find words for, she gave him hope. And a sense of calm. And of security. That we'd be OK. We'd have family to surround us. And love us. And watch over us.

We are very lucky. To have the family and friends, that we have. We're also very lucky, to have my Auntie Bug. I know, I can call her, at anytime of day. And she's there for me. I know, as tough as it is, she'll love my Mom through this difficult chapter. And I know, we'll never be alone. ❤❤❤