We're Starting An Entertainment Drive

After sending out our flyers, and talking with so many people, I've been asked...to do a little something. For our local Cancer Community. A few of the people, that made our days easier, asked if I could help out.

You see, when you are battling cancer...you spend many hours in doctors appointments, chemo treatments, and the hospital. It's part of, what the battle with cancer, looks like. You and your family, learn this real quick.

The kind people from Presbyterian, have asked me, to do a little drive. Along with our Love For Blue Fundraiser. So we'll be collecting a few items. New or used. To be donated back, to the Presbyterian Cancer Center.

First up, they have asked for new or used books. It's pretty obvious, you will spend countless hours...waiting. Waiting for doctors. Waiting for treatments. Waiting in bed...

And as amazing as Presbyterian, and their volunteers are, they've asked for magazines. Of all kinds. New and used. You wouldn't believe how many, I read, in just a year! And how many car magazines, my Dad enjoyed looking through. So clean up your coffee tables!

One thing that you might not think of, is puzzles. But it is one of the ways, many patients and family members...pass the time. My Mom, used to LOVE the puzzles, at our doctors' appointments. Many family members, sit around a table, working on big and small puzzles. Talking. It's a bit of a stress relief.

Another one of the "not so obvious" things we've been asked for, is games. At the hospital, they have a Family Room. And from experience, I know kids have to spend much time there. Waiting. While their loved ones, are very sick. We've been asked to collect some games.

Lastly, some DVDs. Did you know, that the oncology unit, has DVD players? In all the rooms! As a family, that spent many weeks in the hospital...it was a nice distraction. But the hospital doesn't have DVDs. That was something I'd bring from home. Please donate the DVDs, you don't watch anymore.

As you can see, many of the items we are asked for, are pretty common. Things that help distract us. Or take up some time. Items, that most of us have, in our homes. Or can buy, at the Dollar Tree.

On the day of our fundraiser, we'll have a box. To collect, some of these items. Then I'll deliver them, to the Chemo Treatment Center, MD Anderson Radiation Center, and the Oncology Unit. Please be generous. Many of the people, that are seeking treatment, come from out of town. And could use our help. Happy Friday! ❤❤❤

Always Keep A Bag Packed

In the Fall of 2014, I learned a lesson. Fast! My Dad would begin, to have a lot of complications. And we'd be, in and out of the hospital, a lot! Most of the time, without any notice. Sometimes, we'd be going somewhere, and I'd have to call an ambulance. Sometimes, I'd drive my Dad to the ER. Sometimes, we'd call from home.

But it would all happen fast. And most of the trips, were the same. Long waits in the ER. Freezing. To be admitted, to the hospital. For at least a week. Most of the time, longer. And often times, I wasn't prepared. In the beginning. As the ambulance would drive away. I'd find a big bag. Throw in a blanket, sweatshirt, my tablet, some crochet, and maybe a snack.

As our unscheduled trips, would become more regular, I'd get organized. I finally realized, I needed to be ready, for anything. And everything! First, I'd find a nice sized bag. That would only be used, for the hospital.

 

I bought a bag, similar to this one. At Wal-Mart. For about $20. It would stay packed, from September 2014-March 2016. Yes, it still sits in the closet. I know! I should unpack it.

Inside, I'd put a bag of toiletries for my Dad. And one for me. For my Dad, I'd include his mouth rinse, his extra electric shaver, lotion, chapstick, his hair brush, a couple of extra ostomy bags, and rings.

In my bag, I'd have deodorant, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste, some body spray, soap, my moisturizer, a razor, a brush, and hair elastics. The hospital, also supplied us, with a lot. Like towels, washcloths, soap, lotion, shampoo, mouthwash, and toothbrushes. And whatever else we needed. But sometimes, it's nice, to have the things that you are used to.

I'd make sure to pack some clothes too. For both my Dad and I. I'd pack my Dad, some t-shirts, a sweatshirt, some socks, his gloves, and a hat. I'd also pack some slippers for him. I would have a change of his clothes, in our car too. I couldn't take those down, until we were getting discharged. Because he would want to put them on. And try to go home.

For myself, I'd pack slippers, lots of socks, plenty of underwear, a few pairs of PJs, a couple of comfy shirts, some sweatpants, and tennis shoes. I'd have a couple of sweatshirts too! It was always cold, in the hospital. So all of my clothes, were for comfort and warmth. I didn't care, what I wore, while we were in the hospital.

 

I ALWAYS had, at least 2 blankets in my bag. One for each of us. And 2 pillows, in our car. The ER, was known, for being ice cold. And never having pillows. In the oncology ward, I didn't worry much about this. But my Dad, would often times, request his blankets from home. We'd bring those too.

I crochet. A lot! So I ALWAYS made sure, I had some sort of project, in my bag. Something, that I could pick up, and put down. Something that didn't take too much thought. Most of the time it was a small blanket. Or just a small project in general. But I'd have some yarn, and a crochet hook.

I'd also have a notebook, some pens, and usually a journal. I needed to be able to write things down. So this became essential for me!

I also packed a couple of new magazines. And at least one book. My Bible was in there too. The hospital we were at, had volunteers, that would deliver reading material to you. But it was nice, to have something, I had previously picked out. Something I was looking forward to reading. Many times, in the ER, my Dad was asleep. Usually due to a seizure. Or something else. And the room would be dark, and quiet. So I'd include a book light too. I was also lucky, to get a daily newspaper, from the hospital. They'd deliver it, with breakfast. For me, reading material was a must!

 

I also would include a couple of DVDs. In the oncology unit, they had DVD players, in every room. Many of these patients, spend a lengthy time, in the hospital. And my Dad liked to watch movies. So when I'd go to Wal-Mart, I'd always check out the $5 bin. And stick a couple in our bag. During our stay, in December 2014-January 2015, DVDs were a fun thing for us. My Dad, my Mom, and I, would spend our evenings, watching a new movie together.

 

I was lucky enough, to have 2 tablets, at the time. And I ALWAYS had one in my bag. Waiting for me. This was another way, I'd spend sleepless nights. Catching up on my favorite blogs, writing e-mails, blogging, updating family and friends on Facebook, and just hanging out online.

 

During most of our stays at the hospital, when my Dad was feeling better, we'd watch Youtube videos. Together. Laughing. Reminiscing about WWE wrestling. My Dad's favorite! I'd show him our blog. Later when we'd begun the Love for Blue Foundation, I'd show him this blog. Our T-shirt sales. My Etsy shop. It was nice to have.

 

Again, the hospital had a computer, for the oncology patients to use. In the Family Room. But it was nice, to get to just hangout, in our room. And watch silly videos.

 



 

 I also packed a variety of chargers. For our cell phones, tablet, my Dad's electric shaver, my laptop, our radio. Things I thought we'd need.

 

And I ALWAYS had snacks! Not that we really needed them. The staff at our hospital was AMAZING! And very quickly, they got to know, I was the one that stayed. All the time. And they would all, bring me snacks. The kitchen, would send me something. The different staff members, would bring me a bag of chips, a candy bar, some fruit. But it was nice to have some snacks, that I liked too.

 

These items, were ALWAYS in my bag! And it was, in an easy place, to get to. Which is important. it was packed, and ready to go. When we would get home, I'd refill my bag, and do laundry. This was also important. Many times, we were only home, for a week. My bag, always had to be ready to go!

 

This isn't everything, we'd take with us. Like I said, most of our hospital stays, were 7-10 days long. During the holidays, we were there, for over a month! After my Dad would be admitted, which usually happened in the afternoon, my Mom would get off of work. We'd probably been there since 7AM. My Mom would stay with my Dad, and I'd run home.

 

There, I'd quickly shower, and pick up, whatever else we needed. Usually, my Dad's radio, my laptop, a Saint that my Dad liked to have around, more blankets, little decorations for his room. We tried to make it a positive experience. But being prepared, was the key to everything. It made chaotic times, more manageable. Less stressful. And me, more available, to take care of my Dad. And his needs. ❤❤❤

Don't Forget To Have Fun

Some of the first advice, we ever received, was to have fun. Make time, each week, and have fun. Sounds crazy, when you find out, your loved one is now battling cancer. Stage 4 cancer. But it really was, some of the best advice.

The first oncologist, that we'd meet, would tell us this. He was almost 100% sure, my Dad had cancer. He read his entire medical history, and told me, he was certain. But we'd need a few tests. He also told me, if we had a fighting chance, we couldn't stop having fun. We needed to live life. It would make the battle, worth it in the end.

When those words, come out of your doctors mouth, your not sure what to think. Wait. "Did you say cancer? You want us to have fun? Enjoy life?" It all seems like a blur. Like you are in a bad dream. Maybe you misheard.

But it is the harsh reality. And in all the chaos, that followed my Dad's diagnosis, those were the words I'd remember. So would my Dad. And we'd try to steal those moments. From the cancer. To just enjoy life. To forget about our troubles. And just smile.

It is not always easy. Not when you have doctors' appointments daily. Have nurses coming to your home, 3 or 4 times a week. And don't necessarily feel great. But you have to make the time, to unwind. To enjoy life. To be happy, even for a few minutes.

It's not easy. It was never easy. Ever! Not when life kept kicking us down. But that is when life really begins. When you are taken to the edge, of your comfort zone, and realize what really matters.

In the few days, between my Dad's diagnosis and his surgery, we lived. My Dad wanted to be out and about. So between doctors' appointments, tests, and prep...we would go to the casino, out to dinner, and to his favorite places in town. We'd live.

We were all scared. Nervous. And halfway hoping, this was a dream. But he remembered those words. Go out and have fun. Enjoy life. Don't forget to live. We did it all!

In the weeks that would follow my Dad's surgery, there would be more appointments. More tests. And eventually chemo. But we'd remember to live. And I'm so glad we did! Every other week, was a chemo week. It was also summer. During chemo week, we fought this beast. Head on! Chemo one day. Going home with the pump for two days. Back to have it disconnected. Then we'd go in for hydration, and iron pushes. It would make for a long, and draining week.

It was a grueling schedule. We were limited to activities on chemo day. Mostly because our entire appointment, was nearly 12 hours. Sometimes longer. It just depended. And then, we were not allowed to do anything after, but go home. My Dad was just too "high risk."

But on the days of disconnect, it was an all day affair. My Dad would want to go out. To a late lunch. We'd spend 3 or 4 hours, at Furr's. Enjoying a meal. Talking. Laughing. To anyone watching, they would have no clue, we were fighting for his life.

Every single weekend, and our "off week," were dedicated to living. Having fun. Doing the things, we all enjoyed. Going out to eat, visiting friends, going on road trips, having fun at the casino, just enjoying each others' company. Honestly, we were living by the seat of our pants. It wasn't unusual, to spend 3 hours in a restaurant. Or 8 hours in the casino. Or to wake up in the morning, and decide, we were hitting the road.

Many people, thought we were crazy. We were doing too much. Putting my Dad, through too much. But it's what he wanted. Looking back, I'm positive that he knew, we didn't have much time. And he wanted to fill our time, with love, happiness, and so many memories!
There were countless hours, spent in Old Town. Listening to music. Eating ice cream. And just "being." There were so many, of those "toothy grins." That I miss so much, now. Rarely, did we sleep in. There was just too much life, to live.

My Dad, would later tell me these words. And he made me promise him, never to forget them. To live by them. You see, my Dad worked his entire life. He owned a business, for 45 years. And never retired. He worked hard. So incredibly hard! From 3AM-10PM, daily. He did so much. For so many.

But along the way, he didn't take the time, to really enjoy life. To really enjoy, the fruits of his labor. To really live life. In the last few months of his life, we'd do just that. As much as we could. Whenever we could. For as long, as we could.

We'd steal moments, out of the day. Go and sit at McDonald's, and just be. My Dad would enjoy coffee, chicken nuggets, and a pie. Once in a while, he'd cheat...and have a root beer. Maybe an ice cream. We'd sit and talk for hours. He never really wanted people to know, where we would disappear to. He'd lie to my siblings. And we'd just go and talk.

For sure at this point, I know now, that he knew. He knew his time was limited. That there wasn't much time left, for making memories. For telling his stories. For having fun. Or being my best friend. For being my Daddy.

But the time we had, we enjoyed. Going for long walks, at the old K-Mart building. Sitting inside Ross, and talking. For hours. On the chairs they were selling. Bless those workers' hearts, for letting us do it. We'd go to Sonic, and pick up a strawberry milkshake, for my Dad. Then head to the park. And sit and talk. Sometimes, head to a store, that my Dad had never been to. Look at every single thing. Enjoy a trip to Wal-Mart. To pick up his snacks.

It didn't matter what we did. We tried to have fun. Even if it was at Walgreen's, and we had to wait 2 hours for his prescriptions. We'd look around. Talk. And maybe share a candy bar. Because life was precious. Our time was limited. And we had a lifetime of memories, to create, in a few short months.

I look at these months, as being the most important of my 32 years. I learned so much about my Dad. So much more, than I had already known. So much, about how he wanted to be remembered. What was really important to him. And what his biggest regrets in life, really were. In the end, we had fun. And we ALWAYS carried those words, from our doctor, in our hearts.

In the battle, against cancer, fun is not a word you hear often. It's something, you probably don't want to think of. You can't imagine, how to have fun. How to smile again. How to forget about those 6 letters...that sent your blood cold.

But it's the thing, that is going to carry you along. On the bad days. When you are unable, to move forward. When maybe, the sickness is taking over. Or unfortunately, you can see the end. Those fun days, are going to carry you, when you don't think you can go any further. They will give you the strength, that you need, to move forward.

Even in the hospital, don't forget to have fun. I'd talk to our nurses. And when my Dad, was feeling OK, we'd go on some adventure. The nurses would help me, get him in a wheelchair. And we'd go. Sometimes to look at the Gift Shop. To buy a magazine, look around, or pick up an ice cream. Maybe down to the cafeteria, for a sweet treat. Perhaps to the Chapel, to pray. Or the Family Room, to watch TV. Maybe if it was a really good day, to the Courtyard, outside. To get some fresh air.

But we never forgot, to have fun. To make memories. To steal a fun moment, from the cancer. Even when my Dad was so sick, he couldn't eat, we'd have fun. We'd stay up late, watching movies. In our hospital room. Or talking. Maybe we'd watch some old WWE matches, on my computer.

And later, when movies and TV, didn't interest my Dad. We'd take him a radio. To the hospital. And the two of us, would enjoy music. Dance around. Be goofy. Everyone knew, we were the "party room." We worked hard, against his cancer. But we tried to enjoy, as much life, as we could.

Honestly, as I look back, it gave my Dad strength. It helped him, battle cancer. It made his life, worth living. He didn't care what people thought. Not anymore. He didn't care, how his family looked at him. Or his co-workers. He'd tell me, "What are they going to do? I know where I'm headed. Let's just keep everything on track. It will take care of itself. I have 82 years worth of fun, to live."

And he really looked at life, like this. In his last 3 months. It was "bonus" time for him. He'd battled so much. Cheated death. And it was his time, to enjoy. To really, live life. It's unfortunate, that it took 82 years, to get there. But he enjoyed, those last few months.

My Dad, nor I, cared what people thought. We became best friends, with our local McDonald's workers. They knew what we had, before we walked through the doors. Nurses knew, to have a cup of coffee, waiting for my Dad. With a warm blanket. And maybe a snack.

They all knew, that we'd take goofy pictures. Maybe sing, in the middle of chemo. There was ALWAYS food. And a ton of laughs. Because we had a life, to live. Not every single day was great, or even good, but we made the best out of them.

Even if it was, just the little things. Watching WWE wrestling, enjoying coffee and pie, or just a chat. A heartfelt chat. To tell me, whatever needed to be said. History, stories, or my Dad's final wishes. We did it all, in those final months.

This is something I've thought, my entire life. Objects don't bring happiness. It's appreciating and valuing, what we have, that brings happiness. I could have been bitter. As the caregiver. As the daughter, who was losing her Dad. As the young woman, that would soon, have her world turned upside down.

But that's not the point. It wasn't what my Dad, had taught me. Not so much through words, but through his actions. To value what we had. Our relationship. The memories we were making. The history we had made. No one, could take those away. Or change them. They were mine. And his.

And no matter how unfair, cancer can be, it's up to us...to see the "bright moments," that life gives us. To take advantage, of those few precious moments, to enjoy life. To forget about cancer. To live. And make memories. Most importantly, to spend time with our loved ones.

 

At the time, I didn't realize, just how those ordinary days...would come to mean so much. The little things. The "toothy grins." The shared conversation. Trying out 20 different chairs, in the middle of Ross. Sharing chicken nuggets. Or enjoying a milkshake.

They were ordinary days. Doing ordinary tasks. Trying to get my Dad, to forget just for a second, that he was in his last few days. We didn't go out, to make memories. We went out, to have fun. To enjoy life. And the memories were made. Without much thought. We just made them.

And for anyone that is facing this same circumstance, I'd say these words. "Go out, and have fun. It doesn't have to be some great adventure. Or expensive trip. You don't have to set out, to make wonderful memories. You just need to enjoy life. Enjoy your loved one. The memories, will make themselves. Do the little things. In the end, those are the memories, that will mean the most. The ones, that you will look back, with so much love. The ones, that you will carry in your heart, forever! Don't forget to have fun!" ❤❤❤

Surprise Birthday Party!

It has been snowing so much here! It started after my Dad's birthday. And on Friday night, really came down! Around midnight, I followed a snowplow home. And my Mom stayed the night, with my Dad.

Why? I guess I could have stayed in the hospital too. But I had been cooking up a Surprise Birthday Party for my Daddy. And I needed to get some things done. To my surprise, on Saturday morning, I spent hours digging out our car. And begging the lady, at the cake shop, to meet me.

The roads were still pretty bad, when I finally left home. Around 11AM. But I managed to get out. I picked up the cake. Which by the way, weighed a ton! I ALMOST lost it, in the parking lot. But managed to get it in the car. Made one last stop at the Dollar Tree. And to the hospital I went.

I spent the rest of the day, hanging out in my Dad's room. Which I had decorated on his birthday. It was still decorated, and he was so excited, every single time, a new visitor would come. Or a new staff member. He just LOVES when people see his decorations!

I left late again. Actually, I considered staying the night. But knew I had a few things to get done in the morning. And on Sunday morning, I headed out. I called, and ordered pizzas. Ran to Wal-Mart for the rest of the food, and supplies. Went home. Cooked like a crazy lady. And then, locked the keys in the car...

It took my neighbor and I, a while to get them. Which made me late. But through a few text messages, family and friends knew I was coming. The nurses, agreed, to let my Dad out of his room. And things were back on track!

We quickly got things moved, from the parking garage, to the third floor Waiting Room. Everyone pitched in, to decorate. And the Birthday Boy, made his entrance! My Dad was so excited!!!

That's the two off us there. Waiting to blow out his birthday candles. He was so surprised. Because initially, we had planned a party, at our favorite restaurant. But my Dad was in the hospital. And at the last minute, I had a good surprise.

Here are most of the guests. We completely took over the Waiting Room. For hours! My Dad was able to hang out with us, for nearly an hour and a half. When he had to return to his room, everyone took a chance, to go visit him.

It really was a blessed day! One that we hadn't expected. Who ever thinks about spending their birthday in the hospital? But we made it, the best we could. Shared lots of laughs. Have lots of memories. And even shared with our hospital staff! Happy 82nd Birthday Daddy! Wishing you many more, wonderful and blessed birthdays! ❤❤❤